Dear Caedmon,
This is your dad. You don't know my name yet, and I'm not sure that you even recognize my face, but I know you, and I have some things I wanted to tell you. I actually told you most of these a couple of nights ago, but I'm assuming that since you just stared at me like I was an idiot that you didn't really understand. So maybe the Mayans won't give the whole world the deadly eastern european chicken pox and kill us all in 2012 and you will be able to read this someday.
First of all, I am so happy to be your father. Me and your mom love you so much. But we have told you that a million times so that's not why I'm writing this. I was thinking other day about what a big responsibility it is to be a parent, and how much the way I raise you will affect you. That's great and all, but it's also a little scary. It's scary because I am imperfect, flawed, irresponsible, forgetful, lazy and sinful. As much as I think I could and would do anything in the world for you, I can't. I would like to think that no one else can love you like I do, but I'm wrong. You see, I am your earthly father, and I am here to "train you up in the way you should go", according the the Proverbs. But you have another father, (cue the Jerry Springer "ooooos and ahhhhs"), one that loves you for no reason except that He chooses to. I have loved you since the minute you were conceived, and He loved you long before that. Only He can provide what you really need, and the funny thing is, He is all you really need. Caedmon, I would die for you without blinking an eye, but He already has. There is a void in you that I cannot fill, and I pray that one day God will turn your heart of stone to a heart of flesh.
You are so great, and will no doubt be a great woman. You will do great things, and you can do whatever you want, but I was thinking a couple of nights ago, "What is Caedmon going to be like?" There are lots of things that I want you to be, so here's what I've already decided for you (I hope that's okay with you...). I want you be creative like your mom. I want you to be funny like Mike and be confident like Drew. I want you to cook like your grandmom and smart like your grandad. I want you to be artistic like Erin and have cute kids like Jeri. I want you to laugh like Emily and be athletic like Matt. I want you to work hard like your other grandad and make things like your other grandmom. I want you to care for people like Dusty and smile a lot like Rachel. Your kids will thank you if you buy them candy like Kelley. I want you to love kids like Amy and read like Malachi. Lord help us all if you run like Addison, but to tell you the truth, I hope you do. It would be nice around the house if you were handy like Jimmy. Please be like Heather and don't waste your words. The world will be a better place if you are jolly like Michael and down to earth like Kelly. I hope that you serve people like Brad and make people feel good about themselves like Michelle. If you look like the Joslin girls that would be fine with me. Please don't look anything like Brack, but please do sing like his wife. Wow, there are lots of things that I want you to be. I won't be disappointed if you aren't all these things, but I wouldn't mind either. But please, do me one favor. You may look like me, have eyelashes like me and lord knows you're probably going to be short like me. But whatever you do, don't be like me. Be like Him.
5 comments:
God Bless You, Russ.
I am so grateful that Dixi got you!! That we all got you!!!
russ, I had no idea that you posted this until I got an email saying that my mom commented on it. you are so amazing. and I agree with absolutely everything you just said except I want to add one. Caedmon I hope you have the desire to love and care for other people no matter who they are: friends, family, and random strangers, more than yourself, just like your daddy.
Caedmon, I'm writing this to you really just to let you know how special the parents you have are...not just to you but to all of us who are blessed to have them in our lives! Like anyone else, you don't know me yet. I'm your cousin, Matt! I'll probably be more like an uncle to you and hopefully you and my little angel, Addison, will be as close growing up with one another as your father and I were (still are)! I'm not much and lord knows I haven't done much good! In fact, I have done more harm than good in a lot of people's eyes...but, your parents still love me and my family! Like you I was extremely blessed to have special people in my life like my wife, daughter, parents, brother, and family! You will come to realize one day, just as I have that as long as you have some people in your life that are willing to give you unconditional love, then your gonna make it through this crazy life no matter how bad or how much you mess up. Your mother and father are honestly two of the finest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, let alone be as close to them as I have been able to be! I would echo what your daddy just told you that there most definitely is a heavenly father that has died for your sins and lives again today! Your father said that he would gladly give his own life for you as I have no doubt that your mother would as well. Your parents mean so much to me and my family that I would also gladly give my life to protect or defend you or them, just as I would my own family! I may not be much of anything, but take my word for it that you are as lucky as one person can be simply by being born to the parents that you have! Do me a favor and tell your parents something for me would you...tell them that you love them every chance you get, hug their necks and give them lots of kisses every day, live a godly life full of joy, and try to laugh as much as possible! Lastly, Russ and Dixi...you guys don't realize how much your little girls eyes watch your every move! Continue to be the people that you are, learn from my mistakes and love that little girl like there is no tomorrow! I wouldn't trade the world for either of you and it may mean nothing, but I can promise you one thing...I will be there for you even if noone else will, I'll stand against anyone or anything that is in opposition to you or your little girl! I pray that I will be the parents that you guys and Emily both are!
matt, you are so sweet to write that. me and russ love you and emily, and addison so very much, and i pray that caedmon will grow up and love you guys just as much as me and her daddy do.
This is Malachi. I think you are sweet and pretty. It was fun to hold you. I can't wait until you can play with me. Don't worry, I can teach you to read... It's easy. Gotta go watch "the street"... That's what the cool kids call sesame street. I love you.
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